Hello Bloggers,
I was not sure if I was going to blog about this or not, but here I am. I havent been feeling like myself the last two days, and my mind has been wondering like crazy. I got my LSAT score in, and I did awful. Unfortunately, its not a good enough mark to get into law school for September 2011. I tried so hard, that it hurts to look at that score, it really does. I know I can re write in June, and I am going to, but its just one of those things that still sucks. Writing this blog brings tears to my eyes because I feel so discouraged, dissapointed, sad, and angry. I studied since July, maybe not as hard as I should of, but I really did put my mind to it, and what went wrong? I'm not sure.
The past two days, I feel like I'm walking around in my own little world, and yes inside I'm sad. I've been trying to put on a smile, and pretend its okay, but inside I'm not okay. To some people it might be just a test, but to me it is beyond that, the feelings that are bounded inside of me right now, have shown me that. I know that I promised myself, I'd be happy either way, and I am, that I was able to accomplish the test but the poor test result, has given me a really low self-esteem right now.
When people that I knew in the past took the test, and did poorly, I couldn't understand why they were as bummed out as they were, and now I can feel why. I feel like I took only one thing out of this experience, and that is, never judge someones feelings or thoughts, they have reasoning behind it. We may, or may not agree with them or the situation, but its how they feel. I am going to try to understand that and accept that of others, as I hope I can feel accepted.
I don't want to make this post really upsetting, so I can share with you a few things that made me smile. Mr Curious heard alot of yelling yesterday because I was just too upset and sad. My parents were soooo extremely encouraging, even though I felt like they just didn't understand, their support was there. Also, a close friend was very supportive and told me she was proud of me either way, also a good feeling.
I hope tomorrow is better than today!
Goodnight <3
S.
Showing posts with label Experiences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Experiences. Show all posts
Friday, January 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
It's been a while - 2011 resolutions!
It's been about a month and a half since I last visited the women shelter. When I found out that I had skin cancer, I took some time off from both volunteering at the women shelter, and from Big Brother and Big Sisters.
My plan was to start back at both of them in January. Although the Women Shelter sends daily emails, if they are in need of any extra volunteers. Tonight after work, I thought I had to make dinner, but exciting and surprising...dinner was already made!! So it was quick !! LOL. I had no plans and I got an email on my phone from the shelter asking if there were any volunteers that would be able to help out for an hour and half at tonights "New Years Resolutions meeting".
I got the the shelter at 6:45, so 15 minutes early, I got a chance to catch up quickly with the councellors and other volunteers. It felt really good to be back. I honestly couldn't believe how, volunteering at the shelter sheds a different light on me, its crazy (in a good way of course). The women that are currently being housed, are all new to me so this was going to be a whole new ball game for me. Also I've never really sat in on a meeting before so that was different.
The point of the "New Years Resoulution Meeting" was to motivate and encourage each woman towards and positive future. Each woman had an opportunity to speak about their struggles (if they wanted to), and what has brought them to the shelter. Also, each woman also took something positive out of their situation, and what they learnt from it, that will benefit their lives in 2011. I am glad I attended this meeting because we all have struggles and issues, and we all handle situations differently. Although, tonight showed, its what you take out of the situation that contributes to who you are and how you are shaped - I think anyways! All of these women come from all walks of life, and have different horrific stories, but yet, each and every single one of them manage to look at the positive sides! THIS WAS AMAZING! They taught me something! I try to do this when I can, but sometimes it doesn't always pan out this way, but really, tonight, I thought to my self, why the heck not, if they can do, I should be able to, they inspired me!
So....things, I look forward to in 2011
1) Being more loving to those I care about!
2) Showing appreciation to those around me!
3) Try to take out more good than bad in a situation!
4) Be proud of my self for taking the leap in writing the LSAT - regardless of the results.
5) Committing myself to 2011 Toronto Campaign against skin cancer. My hope here is not to force people to stop tanning with out protection, but to shed some light on the dangers. Ultimately, I can only try!
6) Finally, living more, laughing lots, and loving all!
What are some of things you would like to see within your self, or anything else? Please feel free to share
S,
xoxo
My plan was to start back at both of them in January. Although the Women Shelter sends daily emails, if they are in need of any extra volunteers. Tonight after work, I thought I had to make dinner, but exciting and surprising...dinner was already made!! So it was quick !! LOL. I had no plans and I got an email on my phone from the shelter asking if there were any volunteers that would be able to help out for an hour and half at tonights "New Years Resolutions meeting".
I got the the shelter at 6:45, so 15 minutes early, I got a chance to catch up quickly with the councellors and other volunteers. It felt really good to be back. I honestly couldn't believe how, volunteering at the shelter sheds a different light on me, its crazy (in a good way of course). The women that are currently being housed, are all new to me so this was going to be a whole new ball game for me. Also I've never really sat in on a meeting before so that was different.
The point of the "New Years Resoulution Meeting" was to motivate and encourage each woman towards and positive future. Each woman had an opportunity to speak about their struggles (if they wanted to), and what has brought them to the shelter. Also, each woman also took something positive out of their situation, and what they learnt from it, that will benefit their lives in 2011. I am glad I attended this meeting because we all have struggles and issues, and we all handle situations differently. Although, tonight showed, its what you take out of the situation that contributes to who you are and how you are shaped - I think anyways! All of these women come from all walks of life, and have different horrific stories, but yet, each and every single one of them manage to look at the positive sides! THIS WAS AMAZING! They taught me something! I try to do this when I can, but sometimes it doesn't always pan out this way, but really, tonight, I thought to my self, why the heck not, if they can do, I should be able to, they inspired me!
So....things, I look forward to in 2011
1) Being more loving to those I care about!
2) Showing appreciation to those around me!
3) Try to take out more good than bad in a situation!
4) Be proud of my self for taking the leap in writing the LSAT - regardless of the results.
5) Committing myself to 2011 Toronto Campaign against skin cancer. My hope here is not to force people to stop tanning with out protection, but to shed some light on the dangers. Ultimately, I can only try!
6) Finally, living more, laughing lots, and loving all!
What are some of things you would like to see within your self, or anything else? Please feel free to share
S,
xoxo
Friday, June 25, 2010
Never wait til the last minute...
It took me sooo long to finally get my G....well it felt like it anyways. I know it may not be the biggest accomplishment...but it was to me yesterday!
Where I live, after getting your G2 (where you are able to drive alone)...you have 5 years to take another test where you have your complete liceans.
Now many people encouraged me not to wait the 5 years because I will soon pick up my own driving techniques and what was taught to me by the driving schools will soon fade. Of course...I did not listen...like how hard can it truly be? I thought to my self
Anyways...I decided last August to take the first test...because I figured in case I fail...I have one more year to re-do the test...but I was confident of course, that I would pass. So I get to the counter...and the man was rude and blunt. He had told me that I missed my appointment and it was at 9 am, not 1 pm...and I had to pay $75 again. I assured him that I would NEVER make an appointment that early...especially if I am driving on the highway...unfortunately he made me pay again...I had no choice and I was trying to remain calm. Shortly after, this woman is walking towards my car - she checks if the car is safe to drive (checking lights, signals and horn). We than proceeded to the test...I am driving on the road feeling very confident still...5 minutes into the test and the woman in a stern voice says "Mam, you are going 49 in a school zone, SLOW DOWN"...I suddenly felt my confidence crush...and new it went down hill from there. BUT...slowly I began to feel okay because she continued to make me do things on the test...and complimented my merging on the highway. We finally get back to the drive centre when she asks me to shut my car off and passes me my paper that says FAILED!...she was very serious when mentioning that there is a zero tolerance in a school zone. I was crushed when she left the car...I began crying..and I drove away feeling silly.
I wanted to get it over with so I decided to book again for the end of August...I pay online- everything is good...but suddenly the Ministry decides to go on strike for 5 and half months pushing my test all the way to February! So I get to the test centre...same routine...I wait in my car for the instructor to come check if the car is good to go...and SUDDENLY.... my back break light was NOT working. So of course...I could not do the test and I lost 50 % of the money. I started to get very fusterated but there was nothing I can do. Once again I felt silly because I should have checked before going to the centre ...sooo I made an appointment for June 10...but I enrolled in a summer course that I had an exam at the same time I had my G...so of course I had to re schedule my G.
Yesterday.......I get there...with my car checked...everything was a GO...except the man at the counter asked me if I'd like to re-schedule my test because there is alot of traffic on the highway...it will be a 2 hour wait. I decided to wait!!!!!!!!!!...I had too. There was no 2 hour wait...it was 10 minutes. I proceeded to drive...and was shaking ...my instructor knew I was very nervous and told me to calm down. He tried to create conversation with me and before I knew it I was DONE DONE DONE. He told me to shut my car off (I began to get nervous)...he told me that I PASSED........but this time I was going TOO SLOW ...
Anyways...my lesson was learnt, try to never wait too long, it may cost you, your time and alot of money.........but on a brighter note....I PASSED :)
Where I live, after getting your G2 (where you are able to drive alone)...you have 5 years to take another test where you have your complete liceans.
Now many people encouraged me not to wait the 5 years because I will soon pick up my own driving techniques and what was taught to me by the driving schools will soon fade. Of course...I did not listen...like how hard can it truly be? I thought to my self
Anyways...I decided last August to take the first test...because I figured in case I fail...I have one more year to re-do the test...but I was confident of course, that I would pass. So I get to the counter...and the man was rude and blunt. He had told me that I missed my appointment and it was at 9 am, not 1 pm...and I had to pay $75 again. I assured him that I would NEVER make an appointment that early...especially if I am driving on the highway...unfortunately he made me pay again...I had no choice and I was trying to remain calm. Shortly after, this woman is walking towards my car - she checks if the car is safe to drive (checking lights, signals and horn). We than proceeded to the test...I am driving on the road feeling very confident still...5 minutes into the test and the woman in a stern voice says "Mam, you are going 49 in a school zone, SLOW DOWN"...I suddenly felt my confidence crush...and new it went down hill from there. BUT...slowly I began to feel okay because she continued to make me do things on the test...and complimented my merging on the highway. We finally get back to the drive centre when she asks me to shut my car off and passes me my paper that says FAILED!...she was very serious when mentioning that there is a zero tolerance in a school zone. I was crushed when she left the car...I began crying..and I drove away feeling silly.
I wanted to get it over with so I decided to book again for the end of August...I pay online- everything is good...but suddenly the Ministry decides to go on strike for 5 and half months pushing my test all the way to February! So I get to the test centre...same routine...I wait in my car for the instructor to come check if the car is good to go...and SUDDENLY.... my back break light was NOT working. So of course...I could not do the test and I lost 50 % of the money. I started to get very fusterated but there was nothing I can do. Once again I felt silly because I should have checked before going to the centre ...sooo I made an appointment for June 10...but I enrolled in a summer course that I had an exam at the same time I had my G...so of course I had to re schedule my G.
Yesterday.......I get there...with my car checked...everything was a GO...except the man at the counter asked me if I'd like to re-schedule my test because there is alot of traffic on the highway...it will be a 2 hour wait. I decided to wait!!!!!!!!!!...I had too. There was no 2 hour wait...it was 10 minutes. I proceeded to drive...and was shaking ...my instructor knew I was very nervous and told me to calm down. He tried to create conversation with me and before I knew it I was DONE DONE DONE. He told me to shut my car off (I began to get nervous)...he told me that I PASSED........but this time I was going TOO SLOW ...
Anyways...my lesson was learnt, try to never wait too long, it may cost you, your time and alot of money.........but on a brighter note....I PASSED :)
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