So before I start this post, I must welcome the newest addition to my family, my little bud L! My sister-in-law had a beautiful boy this morning, 7 pounds!! I just want to squeeze and kiss him! I got to quickly meet him this morning and again tonight with my other 2 year old nephew. I love them both!
Random news: I am writing my LSAT December 11th, am I ready? NO...but I have to realize if it doesn't work out this time around, I will re write, and find a plan, and to just try my best!
Some other news...
Yesterday, Women's College Hospital called me and asked me if I was interested in having my surgery today because they had a cancellation. Of course, I said YES!!!!
My appointment was at 12, and I didn't leave until 4 30! I got a complete body scan, which will help monitor any irregular moles, or any changes in any spots. I also got the rest of the skin cancer removed on my ankle/bottom leg (I hope). Its a big scar, and I was extremely nervous. It took 10 needles to numb it, and I HATEEEEEEEE needles so that was the toughest part. After 10 minutes I couldn't feel anything, which was good. I still feel numb so hopefully when the numbing goes away it wont be TOO bad. I got 16 stitches!!
I knew I was in good hands because I had one of the best surgeons in CANADA! (I heard from many people he is good, and of course I had to research on google for my self lol).
Since I found out that I had melanoma, I was constantly on google late at night, typing practically everything you can think of in the search engine. I learnt that, there are so many young girls my age who have/had melanoma! About 90% (my own rough estimate lol) of the stories that I read, mentioned that they use to tan when they were at a young age. Once I decided to stop tanning, I came to realize that I had 2 addictions, an addiction to be dark, and an addiction to tanning. In my own opinion, I feel for every young girl who uses tanning for the reasons I used it, to cover your natural beauty. I kinda wanted to do something about this, but really, what can I do? how could I even get involved
Well...today while my doctor was stitching me up, he asked me my thoughts about tanning. I told him I use to tan...all through highschool and the first two years of university. I knew it was bad, but the professionals at the tanning salon made me feel like it was a healthy way. Its not there fault, I was just too blinded by it all. Anyways, he asked me if I would be interested in helping him out with his campaign that will be happening in the spring, to share my story. I was pretty happy about that!!
He also told me something funny, I thought (funny in a weird way). He told me that a owner of tanning salon in our area called his office and asked him to stop telling patients that tanning causes skin cancer!! My doctor responded accordingly but I just thought it was interest lol!
Okay, thats all for now, I am going to catch up on all the blogs I have been missing!!
xox.
S
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
When life doesn't go how you planned
Hello my bloggers, this blog entry today is something that is personal, and yet I feel will help me by sharing it.
The last two years I have buckled down overall, I worked hard in school, and work part time on the weekends. I try my hardest to balance work, school and a social life, sometimes it can be difficult.
I just applied to Law school, and I am writing my LSAT December 11th, so I feel so stressed because its so close and I'm not anywhere near being ready. I'm also thinking of applying to teacher's college, as a back of plan! Who knows, will see.
I seem to have all these big plans, expecting life to always fall in place, it is not always the case and I finally realized that. I've been seeing a dermatologist for the last year, and on my last visit she said my results should be in soon, but after that I wont have to see her so often.
Last Friday she phoned me and to let me know that my results were in, and that I have skin cancer. She told me over the phone, because there was a mix up in the past between her telling me results and my own family doctor. I kinda appreciated that because I would have been so worried if she said she needed to speak to me. She said that I have caught it at an early stage, and I will need surgery. The conversation ended so quick, BUT at the time, I had nothing to say, even though I had a million questions and thoughts running through my head. The main thing was...AHH IM ONLY 22 AND I HAVE CANCER, I kinda didn't believe it, because its just one of those things that you know can happen but you dont think it will.
I went to see her today, plus my family doctor, right now they are more concerned about how I am coping with the stress of all this and what are the next steps in preventing it from spreading. To be honest, I am worried but she told me that she is sending me to the best team of surgeons in Ontario that deal strictly with melanoma patients. The thought of someone saying you have cancer, is enough to make anyone feel down, but I did alot of research and I've learned alot. I dont leave my house unless I am wearing 30 sunblock (I have been doing this already for the last year), and I plan to wear sunglasses alot more because melanoma in the eyes can cause alot of damage. I also do not plan on soaking up the sun how I once did. At first I freaked out because of the summer holidays plus winter vacation, but that just means I have more time to be active and do fun things that I never did because I would just wanted to lay in the sun.
I am waiting for my doctor to call me back to tell me when I am going to women's college hospital to meet with my surgeon. My situation is dangerous and pretty severe but I do know that there is someone out there that is in a worst situation and I should be lucky that I will be monitored and it will be surgically removed.
Everyone around me keeps saying how relaxed I seem about it, I'm not as relaxed as it seems, its just I have to talk about it on my terms, and when I'm ready. I feel like I have all this pressure now, and how I should be when I'm outside, and what I should be doing differently. I already know this stuff, I have known this the day I decided to stop using indoor tanning beds. I did research before, unfortunately damage was already done to my body, the only thing I can do now is be more pro-active in taking care of myself
This made me realize how crazy and how many of us, well me any way take the littlest things for granted, lucky for me my cancer is treatable, but there are many people's whose isn't.
Another important thing I learnt, is that if you feel uneasy its probably best to go get checked out before its too late, because if I wasn't already seeing a dermatologist I would have never found out because I don't really feel different or sick for that matter.
One last note, just when we think things can't get any worse, THEY DO, and they did. BUT...just when you think things can't get any better, they do, and they will!!
xoxo
S.
The last two years I have buckled down overall, I worked hard in school, and work part time on the weekends. I try my hardest to balance work, school and a social life, sometimes it can be difficult.
I just applied to Law school, and I am writing my LSAT December 11th, so I feel so stressed because its so close and I'm not anywhere near being ready. I'm also thinking of applying to teacher's college, as a back of plan! Who knows, will see.
I seem to have all these big plans, expecting life to always fall in place, it is not always the case and I finally realized that. I've been seeing a dermatologist for the last year, and on my last visit she said my results should be in soon, but after that I wont have to see her so often.
Last Friday she phoned me and to let me know that my results were in, and that I have skin cancer. She told me over the phone, because there was a mix up in the past between her telling me results and my own family doctor. I kinda appreciated that because I would have been so worried if she said she needed to speak to me. She said that I have caught it at an early stage, and I will need surgery. The conversation ended so quick, BUT at the time, I had nothing to say, even though I had a million questions and thoughts running through my head. The main thing was...AHH IM ONLY 22 AND I HAVE CANCER, I kinda didn't believe it, because its just one of those things that you know can happen but you dont think it will.
I went to see her today, plus my family doctor, right now they are more concerned about how I am coping with the stress of all this and what are the next steps in preventing it from spreading. To be honest, I am worried but she told me that she is sending me to the best team of surgeons in Ontario that deal strictly with melanoma patients. The thought of someone saying you have cancer, is enough to make anyone feel down, but I did alot of research and I've learned alot. I dont leave my house unless I am wearing 30 sunblock (I have been doing this already for the last year), and I plan to wear sunglasses alot more because melanoma in the eyes can cause alot of damage. I also do not plan on soaking up the sun how I once did. At first I freaked out because of the summer holidays plus winter vacation, but that just means I have more time to be active and do fun things that I never did because I would just wanted to lay in the sun.
I am waiting for my doctor to call me back to tell me when I am going to women's college hospital to meet with my surgeon. My situation is dangerous and pretty severe but I do know that there is someone out there that is in a worst situation and I should be lucky that I will be monitored and it will be surgically removed.
Everyone around me keeps saying how relaxed I seem about it, I'm not as relaxed as it seems, its just I have to talk about it on my terms, and when I'm ready. I feel like I have all this pressure now, and how I should be when I'm outside, and what I should be doing differently. I already know this stuff, I have known this the day I decided to stop using indoor tanning beds. I did research before, unfortunately damage was already done to my body, the only thing I can do now is be more pro-active in taking care of myself
This made me realize how crazy and how many of us, well me any way take the littlest things for granted, lucky for me my cancer is treatable, but there are many people's whose isn't.
Another important thing I learnt, is that if you feel uneasy its probably best to go get checked out before its too late, because if I wasn't already seeing a dermatologist I would have never found out because I don't really feel different or sick for that matter.
One last note, just when we think things can't get any worse, THEY DO, and they did. BUT...just when you think things can't get any better, they do, and they will!!
xoxo
S.
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